Updated: Jun 28, 2018
So much of our lives are spent between. Between jobs. Between relationships. Between where we are now and where we want to be. We’re told to “be patient”. That it will come, implying that we simply must wait for our good to arrive. This waiting leaves us revving hot, with one foot on the gas and one on the brake, wanting to act our way to the finish line yet paralyzed and afraid of making a wrong turn.
What if we looked at this time differently? What if we saw the in-betweens not as time we are to spend waiting, but as a time of vibrant, active transition and a space where the cells and particles of everything we want were ignited, alive and bringing themselves into being?
This is exactly what our transitions are. Moments of active unfolding, bringing you what your heart has been asking you for. Whether you’ve just ended a relationship or been let go from a job, you have just been gifted a magnificent exit out of something that didn’t serve you and are being generously lifted to something better. You are being shown that there is more and the door to your "something better" has been swung open.
Navigating this space between here and there can be uncomfortable and frustrating. The secret to finding comfort in the discomfort is knowing that everything that has happened and is happening now is taking place on your behalf. Every moment of our transition (and I mean every one of them) contains a gift. It might be a piece of information or guidance clarifying what you are to do next. It might be a conversation with a friend that contains something you need to know. It might simply be the time and space to be still and quiet...to rest, nourish and care for yourself. Know that this guidance is always here. It will always lead you to what you are to do and where you are to go so that you might realize your heart’s desires. Your most important job during this time is to soften, connect to your heart and open yourself to receiving the breadcrumbs.
Here are some ways that can help to move through this space with ease:
RELAX AND BE STILL
To our human'ness and active minds it sounds counter-productive but hear me out. All of the heavy lifting in moving through your transition is done in silence. During this time it is crucial that you quiet the chatter of your thinking mind. That you still the voices that insist that you manipulate your circumstances to prevent disaster. Your thinking, ego mind was built to protect you...to surface worry and to feed fear. However, these thoughts are static that simply distracts you from the truth which is that you are safe, you are full and complete and have everything that you need.
When we quiet our minds we are able to hear our hearts which contain our inner knowing. Our guidance. The voice of our hearts is the voice of our help and will always guide us to our safe place. That said, once we are able access this guidance we can receive everything that we need to know in order to navigate this time.
How to do it:
If you have a meditation practice, now is the time to dive in. Spend as much time with that practice as you can. If not, I encourage you to explore methods and spend at least five minutes a day in stillness.
Walking is a powerful tool in quieting the chatter, connecting with nature and cultivating a connection to your heart. You often hear people speak about ideas and solutions that came to them while walking. This is because they have unknowingly tapped the channel to their heart and are able to receive wisdom, guidance, information. So go for a walk, ideally in nature (but if not, any walking is great). If your mind is racing, take a couple of deep breaths and ask your mind to rest and enjoy.
When we journal our thoughts, fears, desires and our gratitude, we are getting to know them, 'speaking' them clearly, bringing them into being, giving them form. The physical act of writing connects the intelligence of our hearts with the intelligence of our bodies, allowing our hearts to literally speak through the pen and the words on the page. Have you ever journaled a thought that you didn't know you had? This is our inner wisdom coming to the surface and speaking to us clearly. I encourage you to journal after meditating or going for a walk. Ask your heart questions and open yourself to the answers as you write.
When we accept that we are guided through our lives, everything becomes something to be grateful for. We see that the last minute appointment that was cancelled is actually freeing us up for the time we need to rest or go for a run (and something to be grateful for). We are able to recognize that losing that job was actually exactly what our heart was asking for (and something to be grateful for). When we open ourselves to the good that exists in every moment we start to appreciate the smallest of things. This gratitude attracts more good, more opportunity, more abundance.
How to do it:
The Gratitude Game
Set an alarm to go off periodically (every two or three hours). At the sound of the alarm, look at what is happening in your life, in that precise moment. Ask, what is there to be grateful for? How has this moment unfolded on my behalf? Then say thanks to whatever source of love that you choose. The Universe, your Higher Self, God... Nod in appreciation for the good that you've been gifted and for all the good that is to come. Soon, the alarm won't be needed. You'll catch yourself recognizing how things have shaken out in your best interest and gratitude will become an involuntary response to almost everything. You will become happier and more peaceful as you receive everything you need as you transition to what's next.
CONSCIOUS SELF CARE
To some, "self care" is about massages, manicures and mimosas, and that's the end of it. These things can, in fact, be reflections of self-care but conscious self care runs deeper than simply scratching an external itch. Consciously caring for needs is about first, recognizing who we are, what we need and want, both internally and externally. The idea of really connecting with ourselves, getting to know ourselves, listening to what we want and need and then delivering, swims fast against the current of our culture and in some cases, the way we were raised. We are taught that taking care of ourselves is selfish (especially women). We are programmed to take the backseat so that the others can call shotgun and enjoy the ride.
When we make our needs and wants our priority, we align our actions with the love of the Universe that sees us as ultimately deserving and wants so much for our needs to be met. When we lovingly care for hearts, bodies and minds, we say "I see you. I see that you are here to help and willing to stop fighting against you. I'm on board." When we ignore our needs we are operating against ourselves. We clog the channel of our inner wisdom and block the pipeline that delivers everything we need.
This conscious self care allows us to create an overflowing supply of energy, space, generosity and love. We cultivate good, in excess, so that we can give to others and have more than enough to go around. By caring for ourselves we are giving those we love the gift of our full selves and caring for them fully and completely.
How to do it:
Journal Your Needs
In your journal, write the following questions:
* Body, I love you. What do you need right now?
[then journal your answer]
* Heart, I am here. What do you need right now?
[then journal your answer]
* Mind, I see you. What do you need right now?
[then journal your answer]
Then make satisfying these needs your highest priority, doing each with love, as though you were caring for a small child.
Do this as often as possible. In the morning and throughout the day. Over time, the journaling will become unnecessary. You will build the involuntary muscles that will allow you to identify your needs and deliver on them, without question.
May your transition be rich and full of opportunity. May it bring you to your next level. And may you connect and care for yourself deeply, along the way.